Fuego and I went out to see the new "Pirates" movie tonight! We had a great time overall, but it led me to the conclusion that there needs to be some medium through which we can base our movie selections aside from the critics (who frequently love movies I think suck and hate movies I think are good wholesome entertainment -- ok, so maybe not wholesome). Thus I present you with the first installment of...

THE GARNABUS' MOVIE REVIEWS

Cars -- good. You leave feeling relaxed and know you've had a good time. Fun, simple, you know how it ends by the time you get to the half-hour mark, but you still want to sit there and watch your expectations come true. A couple of unexpected twists in the subplots keep it fresh and fun. Great for kids, or even just the young at heart.

The Break Up -- I won't say it sucked because it was well acted and believable... but it was too much like real life, you just want to say "how about you try COMMUNICATING." Kind of like watching a train wreck. Two people in love screw everything up because they can't communicate. Here's a piece of sage advice for anyone in a relationship that they want to have go somewhere -- learn how to be honest, how to be yourself, how to communicate, and how to discuss disagreements (or how to "fight" as most people call it). This movie made me cry -- not because it was sad, but just because I know too many people like this couple of schmucks! You just want to grab them and shake them by the end of the film. You do not leave feeling relaxed or energized, but rather frustrated and angry at our egocentric society that never teaches anyone how to communicate effectively until it's too late... so no, I didn't enjoy this movie.

Friends With Money -- I will say this sucked. Let's just leave it at "Friends" and you'll have a much more enjoyable time and will have only wasted a half hour of you life that you won't get back. This isn't even worth a half-price rental when the store is out of everything you actually wanted to see. (If you saw this and liked, it, I apologize for harshing your good time.)

The Lake House -- I liked this movie despite Keanu Reeves (aka Ted Theodore Logan regardless of the role he's playing). The plot was a new twist and you don't really catch on until a good hour or more how it will end -- and you still want to watch to see how it will turn out. Definitely worth a matinee, perhaps worth full price depending on how sappy of a love story you want to pay for (this is certainly a chick flick, but at least it's a pretty good one).

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest -- Great action, a bit darker than the first Pirates, well worth watching... BUT the ending (which I won't spoil) feels more like the middle of a longer movie. This was a bit disappointing and left me feeling quite unfulfilled by the whole experience. Of course, it will all be resolved in the third installment of Pirates (whenever that comes out!). This is a movie that is very worth seeing, but for my part, I will enjoy it more when I have them both on DVD and can watch them back to back (sort of like the middle movie in any trilogy -- Star Wars, Matrix, Lord of the Rings, etc.).