Fuego and I hung out with Grasshopper and Redhot tonight (and their two awesome kids, Ladybug and Mini-me -- he looks exactly like his dad's baby pics!).

At the end of another low key and particularly great evening, I am left with that warm feeling of having spent time the way it was meant to be spent... in the company of good friends, chatting, eating good food, and drinking good home brew (and Oban).

I love that GH and I have been friends since high school and that we've been able to change and grow over the years without it driving us apart. I guess good friends are like that -- growing together and retaining a facination for each other's lives that moves beyond the "good old days." Of course, I also love that he's found such an amazing person in Redhot, and that we all get along so well (Fuego had a great time too).

Tomorrow it's off on another adventure as we journey out to the state capital to experience the State Fair! We'll have to see if all the hoopla is worth it ;o)

Ever have one of those nights when you just can't decide what you want to drink?

I couldn't decide between Superfood, lemonade, ice water, and beer... so I'm having them all.

That's just the kind of day it's been. As for the night? I predict peeing.

Well, Dootdoo went home. You'd think we'd drowned Ginger's pet kitten.

Let me back up a little. Ginger decided that Dootdoo was her own puppy. We went for a walk to the park together and she freaked out anytime she couldn't see him or stay near enough to protect him -- she whined and cried as though it was a life and death issue (I guess it must have been to her). When the family left for a few hours on Saturday, Ginger cried and moped and vibrated (yes, vibrated) for a good ten minutes. She guarded the door to his room, she gently dropped toys that she was playing with when he reached for them, she watched everything he did and gave him gentle little kisses whenever she could (as opposed to the huge incessant face licks she tries to give everyone else). When we babysat on Saturday night, she growled menacingly and could hardly keep her barks quiet enough to not wake him when Fireboy and Preagers got back from Preagers' class reunion.

So needless to say, Ginger got attached. We kept her on the bed in our room when they left since saying goodbye is not her strong suit (very stressful... as you might have guessed from the vibrating). Although it helped, she has moped around ALL DAY until we put her in her crate for a while to go out to a movie. Now that we're home again she seems to be doing better, but I think someone needs a really good trip to the p.a.r.k.

Okay, Fuego and I got attached too -- yay Dootdoo! (Can't wait to have one of our own... Ginger's going to be the best big sister ever.)

More later, we finally don't have a 17 month old in the house so I think maybe I'll go NOT watch The Wiggles "Big Red Car"!

Sermon Archive #3

January 18, 2006 - Second Sunday after Epiphany (Year B)

Readings: 1 Samuel 3:1-10(11-20), Psalm 63:1-8, 1 Corinthians 6:11b-20, John 1:43-51


"Where did you come to know me?" What an appropriate question for someone about to give up everything he ever knew to follow Jesus! Reflecting on this morning's readings, it seemed particularly appropriate that as someone who has been discerning God's call with similar questions for most of my life - I should get to come back home to St. Homechurch's to explore again this amazing question at the heart of Calling... Over the past years since leaving Saint Homechurch's for CDSP I've been so focused on learning to hear God's voice - yet when it came down to thinking about what I would preach today, it took several days reflection before I fully realized that the central focus of this morning's scriptures is just that - hearing God's personal call.

In first Samuel we get to experience Samuel's calling - a very literal and physical calling that he wasn't yet prepared to hear until Eli explained what it was that he was hearing. In the Psalm we get to experience the raw, powerful yearning of the psalmist for God's call, God's voice, God's presence - "my soul thirsts for you, my flesh faints for you." ... In Corinthians we hear Paul's exhortation to heed God's call in body and spirit - As the temple of the Holy Spirit we are each individually (and collectively as the Body of Christ in the world), called out of sin and into communion with God. And finally in today's Gospel we hear the calling of Philip and Nathanael to be disciples of Christ.

From these four readings we get four unique viewpoints on the subject of calling... but what do they really teach us about ourselves and God's personal call to each of us? How do they help us answer Nathanael's question - where did you come to know me?

I very much believe that God calls each of us in different ways and to different vocations. In my own life, I have felt a strong calling to be ordained since I was a child. My earliest experience with sorting out my calling was telling my parents when I was five that I wanted to be a minister when I grew up. Although my mom was very supportive of the idea, my dad told me that ministers lived in glass houses and had no lives of their own. As a result I pushed aside God's call and, throughout my adolescence, I sought other lucrative careers in medicine, architecture, and engineering, but with little long-term interest.

I had stopped attending church when I was twelve (shortly after confirmation), and I had stopped listening for God's call in my life. Thankfully, as happened for Samuel, God did call again. My best-friend in High School hounded me to come with him to his youth group until he finally tricked me into going with him. I always worked on Wednesday nights when he had youth group, but I had said on many occasions that if only I didn't work Wednesdays I'd come. One week I had the night off and he knew it. "Hey what are you doing tonight?" he asked. "Actually I have the night off," I replied, "did you wanna' hang out?" "Ya," he said triumphantly, "we're going to Youth Group." Inwardly groaning, I reluctantly agreed to go. That first night was the first time I met Father Homechurch Rector, and was the first time in over five years that I reluctantly heard God's voice calling me. I wasn't ready to recognize the call as God's, but I did come back to youth group every week - changing my work schedule didn't turn out to be a very big deal.

Before long, my friend, Grasshopper, and Father Homechurch Rector had convinced me to try coming to Sunday services. Eventually they asked me to acolyte, and I accepted. But I still had grand ideas that didn't include God's call.

Later that year I was invited to go to a youth retreat called Happening. I was technically to old to attend, but Father Homechurch Rector believed the retreat would benefit me and between him and my youth group friends, they convinced me to go and convinced the coordinator to let me sign up.

If Samuel's training to hear God's call was Eli, mine was Happening. I experienced first hand the amazing love of God - I experienced the powerful joy and pining for God that today's Psalmist puts beautifully into the words, "my soul thirsts for you, my flesh faints for you." God didn't call again for a couple of months, but the next time, I was prepared to hear the call.

I was nineteen when I finally heard God's call to fulfill what I had long just considered a "childhood dream." I've spent another thirteen years working in discernment and preparation to live into that calling. Where did Christ come to know me? He saw me in spite of the world and recognized me in a five-year-old's dream. He knew me before I knew myself.

The story of my calling is not so very different from anyone else's. It may happen in different ways to each of us, and we are obviously not all called to the same vocation, but God calls each of us throughout our lives, seeking from us that we learn to hear and learn to serve God in whatever we are called to do.

Paul reminds us today in I Corinthians that each of us, as members of Christ's body in the world, is a temple of the Holy Spirit. In everything we do, we carry God with us and we are exhorted to be mindful of this amazing gift in everything we do. In the context of calling and vocation, this means that each of us has the capacity and the spiritual capability to be Christ's body in whatever occupation we've chosen and wherever we are. God's calling to us to reach out in love transcends the boundaries of church and state, public and private life, family, strangers, friends, enemies, in everything we do we carry God with us. How could God not know us? The ability to hear God's voice and to respond is not limited to those discerning a call to holy orders, but extends to every one of us who has had ears to hear the Good News of Christ Jesus.

How we hear and respond to God's call depends very much on who we are and how we have learned to listen, but the result will always be visible in the seeds we sow and the fruits we bear. Taking time to listen to a friend, coworker, or even a stranger in need, stepping out in faith to act on what we've heard by offering a helping hand, a word of encouragement, a free meal to the hungry, or standing up for the rights of others. God calls us in many surprising ways and from some pretty surprising places.

The recent rounds of disaster over the past year have been an amazing testament to God's ability to work miracles out of disaster and chaos, and to call us from unexpected places. The Tsunami in Indonesia a year ago inspired a global response and outpouring of sympathy and aid, Hurricane Katrina brought offers of aid from countries vastly poorer than the US, even including some of our former enemies, and still calls volunteers from all over the U.S. to Houston and Louisiana to help others. The country sat in awesome wonder as twelve miners were declared alive and sat in stunned silence as "only one miracle" was actually made manifest. Yet even in letters from the trapped miners, there is testament to God's presence. One miner, Martin Toler, wrote to his family: 'Tell all I see them on the other side. I love you. It wasn't bad just went to sleep.'

Our Gospel today shows us an all too familiar example of the unexpectedness of God's call to us coming out of a year filled with heartache and bad news. Nathanael wonders aloud to Philip who has told him that the messiah has come, "can anything good come out of Nazareth?"

I remember a similar comment from a good friend of mine a few weeks after Hurricane Katrina, "can anything good come out of all this in New Orleans?" About a week later, he signed up with the Red Cross and around the same time Rev. Moving-to-Colorado went to Mississippi, he flew out to Houston to help the refugees at the Astrodome and to bring aid to the affected areas of Texas. "I'm no hero," he said, "I had my own selfish reasons for going - I just needed to get out of my own problems for a while and help those who have so much less than I do."

Our Gospel reading gives us one of the most complicated looks at God's calling from our readings today, pulling together all three of our other readings. On the surface it seems short and just a bit confusing - Philip is called to follow Jesus, he goes and tells Nathanael about it, who asks if anything good can come out of Nazareth, and Philip simply replies "come and see!" Jesus tells Nathanael he saw him under the fig tree before Philip called him, and suddenly Nathanael proclaims Jesus to be the son of God - even Jesus seems a bit surprised... so what is going on?

Nathanael is the surprise witness in today's Gospel - he isn't called directly by Jesus, rather Philip is called and rushes out to tell his friend, who is skeptical and isn't afraid to hide it. Yet he is intrigued enough by Philip's story that he heeds his friend's call to "come and see." From a distance Jesus seems to recognize him and Nathanael asks him "where did you come to know me?" Jesus replies that he saw him under the fig tree before Philip called him. For whatever reason, this was all Nathanael needed to hear to convict his heart of God's call. In that one moment, Nathanael gets it. He hears God's call and like so many of us who clearly hear God's calling in our lives for the first time, is overcome by God's presence and purpose in his life.

From an unexpected place and at an unexpected time, he suddenly became aware of God's call, and he answered that call much in the same way that Samuel answered, much in the way that my friend answered in going to Huston, much in the way that Rev.Moving-to-Colorado answered in going to Mississippi, and much in the way that each of us is called to answer as we continue our work to God's glory in all that we do. Echoing Nathanael, the question we are left with today is - Where did he come to know you?

Today, we remember a modern day prophet, who similarly heard God's call. Like so many, he didn't believe himself to be a hero. He simply heard God's call and stepped out in faith to help those less fortunate than himself. The Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Junior became God's prophetic voice to America's conscience, speaking out against racism, speaking out for civil rights, speaking out for economic empowerment of the poor. Lesser Feasts and Fasts reminds us that the Rev. Dr. King lived in constant danger: his home was bombed, he was stabbed, he was constantly harassed with death threats, and he was jailed thirty times. After a particularly vicious telephone threat in 1957, he sat alone in his kitchen weeping and praying. He later recalled hearing the Lord speaking to him and saying, "Martin Luther, stand up for righteousness, stand up for justice," and promising never to leave him alone. He recalled this vision in his "I have been to the mountain top" speech the day before his assassination. Hearing God's call loud and clear, he lived every day of his life in affirmation of that call - standing up for righteousness and justice until the day he died.

May each of us strive to hear God's call in our lives, asking and praying, "where did you come to know me?" And may God empower each of us to stand up and step out in faithful obedience to God's call - to live out the dreams that we have been given the hope and the power to dream. Amen.

I know it's been several days since I've posted, but this has just been one of those weeks! I've been working on getting together a trip to Disneyland for my youth group, meeting with local youth ministers, cleaning the house for visiting friends Preager and Fireboy (and their highly active 18 month old Dootdoo -- awesome kid who has his own soundtrack!), and generally coming home, eating, snogging (no that is not a euphimism) Fuego, and going to bed.

Dootdoo has pretty much worn us out again tonight, so that's about it for now.

This is awesome! Not to mention timely considering my last sermon (see Sunday the 13th). More of Mark Fiore's work can be found at markfiore.com. Click on the image below to play the video.

Fuego and I got to go to Sadu Crobinhobin's to play with Granite and Timm last night and stay over -- so fun! Granite and Ginger were inseparable within ten minutes of our getting there and played ALL NIGHT LONG -- it was pretty amazing really. Timm got to play the part of the curmudgeony old greybeard who interjected frequently with loud barks and some well placed nips on the neck and elbows (cute!). It's so fun to see him frolicking with the puppies.

We got to drink beer and wine, hung out with Hetero S -- who brought amazing snacks (!!) -- and stayed up way too late. Then this morning the pups started in again around eight, so Fuego and I joined Crobinhobin and the pups for a romp and then went for a nice long walk to get coffee and bagels.

Later this afternoon we went to play sloshball (kickball where you have to stop at 2nd base to drink a pint of beer)... always a good time!

Now we're back home. Glad to see Fredo and spend a little quiet time before church in the morning.

I should have mentioned that I got my hair cut before we went down Friday afternoon... it has been about eighteen months, so it was time for another donation to locks of love (A company that accepts donations of human hair in order to provide wigs to children with hair loss from alopecia, chemotherapy, etc.).

Usually they only cut about eleven to twelve inches off, which would have been fine, but this time they cut off a ten to eleven inch braid, which comes out to about fourteen inches (a bit short for my expectations). So stoked to be able to do it, but looking forward to having it grow back out to a more comfortable length ;o)

Chronicles of Garnabus Poll #1:

How Did Some-of-the-time-girlfriend get his name?

(This can be what you really think, or something funny... I'll post my favorite along with the real answer!)

BTW -- Anonymous posts are now allowed (until someone gives me reason to disallow them again).

Fuego and I took Ginger to the park tonight -- okay, so first we subjected her to sitting on the cement sidwalk while we ate dinner in front of her and had ice cream... but then we made it up to her by taking her to the park for a good long run! She had a blast... and a bath when we got home (park was a bit muddy tonight).

Sermon Archive #2 (I'm not preaching again until September, so I'll post a few more from the archives between now and then).

This is from Last Epiphany 2006, Transfiguration Sunday.

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Readings: 2 Kings 2:1-12, Psalm 50:1-6, 2 Corinthians 4:3-6, Mark 9:2-9

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Twice daily, at the dawn and at the dusk – in the twilight where colors seem somehow more vibrant and the air around you seems to shimmer with a living energy – these are known in the Celtic tradition as Thin Places… where the boundary between the human world and the spiritual or faerie world is at it's thinnest. This idea is also applied to particularly holy places such as mountain tops, meadows in the middle of thick woods, quiet pools of undisturbed water, and glens or open valleys amidst the hills. It is particularly in such places at the twilight hour when legends tell of hapless travelers hearing the music of the faerie folk and being lured into the depths of the forest or hills – finding themselves quite lost and typically subject to the mischief of leprechauns or other myriad faerie-creatures out of Scottish and Irish legend.

Celtic Christianity similarly recognized these thin places… where one could feel the presence of the divine so strongly that one could almost reach out and touch the face of God...

We have several names for these experiences in our own culture: Epiphanies, Visions of the Divine, and perhaps most appropriate to today's readings, Mountaintop experiences.

Whatever we might call them, these are the experiences in our lives that in a single instant can change us forever. Those rare moments when something within us touches on the profound, unexplainable truth of God or we find ourselves suddenly and unexplainably in the presence of the divine.

Many of you have heard me talk about Happening before, it's a spiritual retreat for high school students that is planned and led by teens who have themselves already attended the retreat. For most it is a powerful and unforgettable experience, and for many, it is also life-changing. I went to my happening in the spring of 1992 as a headstrong senior in high-school. I had just started going to church again after five years of searching for my own path in the world. The Christian community that youth group offered was great, but the God of my childhood had become too distant to satisfy my spiritual needs. Happening changed everything.

It became for me a thin place where I found myself in the presence of a very close, very personal God. I came to experience God and God's amazing love for me for the first time that weekend, and I came away from the experience changed forever.

Today's Old Testament and Gospel readings are both stories of this nature. Elijah and Elisha cross that thin boundary between the physical and the spiritual world when they pass through the parted Jordan. Within his very presence, Elisha sees Elijah taken up into heaven in the whirlwind. As we know from the verses immediately following today's readings, Elisha is indeed changed forever as he takes Elijah's place as Israel's most powerful prophet.

But the quintessential mountain top experience is illustrated in today's gospel where Jesus is transfigured before his disciples on the anonymous mountaintop. We can almost feel the air become electrified as Christ becomes dazzling white and Moses and Elijah appeared to consult with him. If there could have been any doubt about who Jesus was before this incident, there could certainly be none now. The disciples, finding themselves suddenly and unexplainably in the presence of the divine are appropriately terrified by the experience.

As important as both of these stories are, and as powerful as they are in describing just how indescribable a brush with the divine can be, what is even more important is what happens just after each experience. After tearing his garment in two, Elisha takes up Elijah's mantle and carries on in his stead.

Thankfully we get a more human response from Peter, but ultimately with the same conclusion. Peter doesn't get it. As in so many stories in the gospels, Peter is first to step forward with his characteristically short-sighted human response. In today's story, he has just experienced a defining mountaintop experience with Jesus' transfiguration. In the midst of this thin place, in the presence of the divine, he voices his very human desire to stay in that moment. 'Rabbi, it is good for us to be here; let us make three dwellings, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.' In essence, Peter voices the desire in each of us to stay on the mountaintop, to stay in that thin place where one has never felt so alive as in that single instant.

Of course, the moment must pass. Just as twilight grows into day or descends into night, the thin places are fleeting moments. As we pass through the ecstasy of the encounter we may, as Peter, James, and John did, find ourselves changed in ways that will be with us forever, but ultimately we have to decide what to do with these moments as we return to the plains and valleys of our ordinary lives.

I came back from Happening a changed person, but I quickly realized that the rest of the world had gone on as though nothing had happened, as though my experience had no impact on anything in the wider world. As does everyone who encounters the divine in these kinds of moments, I had to choose between allowing "real life" to quell the ecstatic joy and hope I felt coming out of that weekend, or do something that radically changed what "real life" meant to me… something that subverted the "reality" of normal life and challenged myself and those around me to redefine normal.

It was coming through this experience that reawakened in me the calling I had felt to serve God as a minister when I was five years old. Coming out of this life-changing experience, I responded by changing my life and rededicated myself to pursuing my childhood dream through my then newly reclaimed young adult dream of becoming a priest in the Episcopal Church.

Although each of us will have a different response to our mountain top experiences, it becomes clear that it isn't enough for us to simply be changed inwardly and strive to stay on the mountain top… these are the experiences that sustain us as we return to the valleys and plains, these are the experiences that we are to take back to "normal life" – and in so doing, to subvert normality and bring that spark of the divine back into normal existence with us.

In so many ways, Jesus life and ministry was about doing just this… Jesus tells us that to become great we must become the servants of all, he demonstrates that the coming of the kingdom of God is not a return of the Davidic throne, but a spiritual kingdom where to take his seat on the throne he must be crucified. He teaches us that true victory lies in doing Gods will and seeking first the kingdom of God rather than to be found by swords and conquest; and he ultimately offers himself up to the roman authorities, to suffering and death, and subverts death itself in the process of his resurrection and glorification on Easter morning.

The Transfiguration is the mountain top experience that we bring with us into the valley of Lent. This is the foretaste of the glory of Easter morning, when the ultimate mountain top experience becomes the lasting glory that cannot be quenched by the physical world. When the barrier that separates the spiritual and the physical world is shattered and the kingdom of God draws all of us within.

In our own lives, the mountaintops seem to be few and far in between. Like Peter we long to stay on the mountain tops, especially when we're in the global valleys of disastrous landslides and political coups in the Philippines, trapped coal miners in Mexico, threats of civil war and seemingly endless US involvement in Iraq after the Golden Mosque bombing this past Wednesday, and religious riots in Nigeria in the wake of global Muslim outrage at the political cartoon depicting Muhammad with a bomb in his turban. But just as Peter wasn't meant to build dwellings on the mountain top, we too are called to carry the hope and exhilaration of our own mountain top experiences back to those in sore need of a little light in this present world of fear, anxiety, and despair.

As in the case of today's Gospel story, we may sometimes need time to reflect on our experiences before we can make enough sense of them to share them with others, but it is never too soon or too late to let the excitement and profound joy of having come close to God shine through us. Paul, himself is a living example of a life changed by encountering God on the road to Damascus, and he reminds us today in 2nd Corinthians that it is Christ that we proclaim when we let the light of our encounters with the divine shine through us.

I leave you with a final story:

On a dark Sunday morning in dense fog, I stumbled as I strove to see the ground not more than a half-foot in front of me – my flashlight impotent against the wall of mist and darkness surrounding me. I climbed interminably, following the familiar footsteps up the side of Mt. Dumyat in Stirling Scotland more by route than by any sensory input. As the twilight grew around me, I found myself in that amazing brilliance of color and living, electrified air that signaled that I had found myself in a classic thin place. From above me I could hear a distant music, familiar and yet ethereal – drawing me up through the fog to its source. I struggled toward it, moving perhaps more quickly than my eyes should have allowed and finally emerged at the top of the mountain to find myself rising above the world itself, shrouded below me in the dense foggy mist of the pre-dawn morning. I moved toward the music and joined the throng just moments before the Sun crested the far horizon, bathing us all in a brilliant and indescribable light. We held a sunrise Easter service there on that mountaintop, and although the season is a bit off, this is the closest I've been to experiencing what Peter James and John experienced in our Gospel story today. How I too would have loved to have stayed on that mountaintop forever!

May we each find the courage and the will to bring the profound light of our encounters with God into the dark reality of our ordinary lives, and may God continue to sustain us as we climb together toward our next mountaintops. Amen.

So I have an inner-ear virus -- I know I've mentioned this, but I thought it warranted returning to since I still have it and it's still weird.

It's strange to have a virus that doesn't make you feel sick, but rather makes you feel a lot like you've had a couple of beers on an empty stomach... They claim that it's common in college towns and I'm curious to know if the virus itself is common, or if it's really just the symptoms that are common ;o)

Whether it was the virus or the anxiety about preaching from a soap box issue today, I had several very strange, restless, and disturbing dreams last night.

The one I remember involved some sort of precarious race, set in rocky terrain, that involved doing skateboard style spine transfers on this morphing bike/steed/board thing... hard to do it justice, but at the end of that one all perception seemed to rather blur into this photomosaic experience of reality that was both disturbing and somewhat stressful. Then I woke up. It was three thirty am and I was fairly sure that someone was looking at me through the window out in the dark back yard (this wasn't the case, of course, but it was just that sort of dream). Since the dream had been interminably long, I also found myself frustrated that the night couldn't just be over already so I could get up and stop trying to sleep.

Between the restless night and the vertigo-like symptoms of my ongoing virus, it was a bit odd to try to preach this morning -- it felt rather like an ill fated pingpong match intermingled with attempts to refocus on my manuscript that failed rather often. This is why we practice our sermons ahead of time ;o) Fuego thought I was just nervous about the challenging subject matter, so at least it wasn't too distracting for anyone but me.

More adventures anon!

Sermon of 13 August 2006:

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Readings: 1 Kings 19:4-8, Psalm 34:1-8, Ephesians 4:25-5:2, John 6:35, 41-51

We see in John's Gospel this morning the continuation of the feeding of the five thousand. After Jesus walked across the Sea of Galilee to meet the disciples, they reached the far shore at Capernaum, where the following day, the crowd that had been fed journeyed in search of Jesus. Having found him, he chastises them for only seeking him out because they had gotten their fill from the bread he gave them, saying instead that it is the Bread of God which comes down from heaven and gives life to the world that they ought to seek. They ask for this bread and Jesus explains, saying "I am the bread of life." "Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty."

We find out later in this part of the story that this interaction takes place at the synagogue, which is important to remember because when John refers to "the Jews," he is almost invariably referring to the religious leaders of Israel, as I would assert is the case in this part of the story, where they challenge Jesus' authority and teaching, managing to win away some of his followers in the process.

The tension between Jesus and the Jewish religious authorities is not surprising considering how unconventional Jesus' message and teachings are. Yet, as he demonstrates throughout his life, Christ teaches us today that his purpose amongst us, and our purpose as his followers is to raise up, to nourish with unperishing bounty, to give life – abundant and everlasting – especially to those who hunger most for physical and spiritual nourishment.

We hear a lot about nourishment in our readings today. Elijah, who fled in fear from Jezebel's wrath after defeating and putting to the sword all the prophets of Baal, was so physically and spiritually nourished and strengthened by the angelic food he was offered in the wilderness that he journeyed forty days and nights on the strength of it to the mount of God.

The Psalmist sings out for joy "Taste and see that the Lord is good!"

And Paul exhorts us to be imitators of God, to provide that spiritual nourishment that comes with living in Love as beloved Children of God.

I'm reminded of our guest preacher, who told us about "food for the poor," I'm reminded of OldIntern’s visit last month and her work in El Salvador, I'm reminded of Father Rector’s compelling story about the Navajoland work trip, my own experiences on mission in Honduras, and the incredible outpouring of aid in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and other major storms of last year. But I'm also struck today by the incredible importance of our gospel message in the context of our modern world where we're faced with continuing terrorist threats, escalating aggressions throughout the middle east, Typhoons in China, and even our own local clouds of insecticides, which continue to descend on us whether we want them or not.

Barring a few major catastrophic events, this is not a world climate in which nourishing others seems to be a priority. As we become more and more encouraged by the media to center on our own individual wants and egos and more and more inwardly focused on individualism, we become more and more separated from our roots in community and finding our center in the extended family of our wider world. Subsequently, we find ourselves primarily concerned with our own well being, with our own personal spiritual and physical nourishment. What we lose sight of in the process is that we cannot, of our own accord, find the spiritual nourishment that can only come through the greater community of God.

Part of the vehemence with which the religious leaders reacted against Jesus and with which rabbinical Jews reacted against messianism was because it was a family quarrel. Up until the 2nd century, there was no such thing as Christianity as a distinct religion, rather there were the Jews who followed the traditional teachings of the rabbis, and there were the Jews and a growing number of non- Jews who followed the more radical teachings of Jesus. As family tensions grew, there was a growing rift that ruptured into a chasm in the 2nd century – with rabbinical Jews basically saying to messianic Jews "we are no longer related and I can no longer be held responsible for the well being of your soul." Since this is when scholars believe John wrote his gospel, it is no small wonder that John treats the Jewish religious leaders who were opposed to Jesus a bit harshly. Unfortunately, we as human beings, and more specifically as Christians, have perpetuated this tendency toward division throughout our long history – trying desperately to find the "right" path, or the "true" message to the exclusion and detriment of those who disagree with us.

However, what we hear from Jesus today in response to his criticisms from the religious leaders of his time, and what we can receive as a message of hope today, is a message of promise in the mutual nourishment of God's covenant of love. Jesus reminds us that all of us who seek out a relationship with God find ourselves in a community that is nourished and cherished by God. Where we seek to create artificial divisions that inhibit community and pit one group against another, Christ teaches us that God seeks no such boundaries, but rather gathers us all together as one in God's own all encompassing community of love.

As imitators of Christ, Paul exhorts us today to become instruments of that same gathering, that same raising up, that same boundary-shattering love that Christ tries so desperately to teach us in his limited time with us.

For us today, that means moving outside of our comfort zones, outside of our selves, even outside of our comfortable private communities, to reach out to those around us who need us, and whom we need in order to reclaim the greater community of God that strives to nourish the whole world in God's love and compassion.

In a world where terrorism strives to limit our freedoms and strives to strike fear in our hearts in place of love, we can no longer afford to entertain the whims of our own personal, individualist, egos. The collective malaise of the USA today is founded on a lack of compassion for those around us, a lack of interest in the wider world, and an ambivalence toward groups who think differently than our own. With the overwhelming amount of violence inundating us in our daily news around the world, it has become so much easier to ignore or inwardly complain about the great collective "other" who is messing things up for everyone else in the world that we seem no longer able or willing to accept responsibility for our own complicity in the degeneration of society and the world around us. Christ calls us back to the center. We are all connected, all interdependent, we are all one body – and we can no more do without each other than the body can do without its own interdependent parts.

Fuego and I recently went to see Al Gore's movie – "An Inconvenient Truth." Although the film has its flaws, it does an amazing job of demonstrating the interconnectedness of every human being on this planet to each other, to every other living creature, and to every ecosystem. I was struck by how much of my own life I have lived in willful ignorance of the wider impact I have in the global community. Unfortunately, the film doesn't offer many solutions until the end credits, which makes it all seem a bit overwhelming. But whether or not you are willing to accept the scientific realities of global warming, the point of that film, and the reality of our modern world is that each of us has an incredible responsibility to do what we can to make a change toward our own global health.

If we are truly to mirror Christ as Paul suggests in today's readings, we are each called to an accountability of how we are using the resources at our disposal. Are we nourishing others' physical and spiritual needs, as Christ compels us through his life and example? Are we raising each other up, reaching out to those in need and pulling them back into the center of our global community? For many of us, the answer becomes "yes" when we sense an acute need, but the truth of the matter is that there is such an acute need around the world that we become numb to it until there's a major enough catastrophe to grab our attention.

We have the daily option to choose renewable energy sources, to recycle, to plant trees, to reduce our greenhouse gas emissions by riding a bike, taking public transit, or switching to hybrid or even electric vehicles. We have the daily option to email our congress representatives to inform them of our expectations for their votes on important issues, to choose charities that directly benefit the causes we're most passionate about, or even to take part of our vacations as an opportunity to serve the suffering in other countries or in our own backyard through mission work-trips.

If we feel like our own contributions won't make a difference, remember OldIntern's story of the man from El Salvador who works as the janitor at the Episcopal seminary in Berkeley, in order to bring thousands of dollars worth of educational supplies and toys to El Salvador every year. Remember OldIntern herself who works year-round to bring hope, education, and renewed spirit to an impoverished community. Remember the members of our own extended Christian family here in D-town, such as AnonymousGuy at D-town Lutheran, who has been going on annual mission trips to Mexico for the past ten years to help build homes for poor families. And remember our own collective efforts here at St. ECWIW’s through our Outreach fund that offers hope to those who most need it in our local community, through our commitment to renewable energy in our addition of solar panels to the church office, and through our hosting of D-town community meals.

For my own part, I find myself convicted of my own desires to make a difference. I've been recycling since I was in jr. high, I've found a replacement for my stolen bike so I can bike whenever local temperatures allow, I've been learning the names and stories of our local homeless and making sure they can find shelter on our hottest days, I've been working to update older appliances with energy- saving alternatives, I've been writing to our representatives in congress, but I realize that there is so much more that I can do every day and I struggle to find more ways to make my single voice a chorus with enough power to make a difference. We're currently searching for a mission trip for the youth group – which we hope to make an annual endeavor; we as a parish recently welcomed Bike and Build – an amazing group of young adults who biked across the US to raise money and to personally help build houses for low income families; and I'm researching fossil-fuel to electric conversions for my least fuel-efficient car.

As many of you know, our 2006 General Convention officially adopted the UN Millennium Development Goals, encouraging us to do our part to fulfill the goals to: Eradicate extreme hunger and poverty, Achieve universal primary education, Promote gender equality and empower women, Reduce child mortality, Improve maternal health, Combat HIV/AIDS, malaria, and other diseases, Ensure environmental stability, and Promote a global partnership for development.

We are called in these Millennium Development Goals, and in all of today's readings to reach out and spread the nourishment of God's love as far and as wide as we possibly can. By doing so, we stand to find ourselves renewed in the awesome abundance of God's kingdom, and refreshed in the wider community of God's amazing love. The only way to do too little is to do nothing.

Lord move our hearts to action, that we might, by striving to do your will in the world, find the abundant joy and mutual nourishment of serving others and ever expanding your community of love. Amen.

Tachycardia, lightheadedness, and shakiness aside, the spraying seems to have been a big success... except for that mosquito I killed on my arm tonight -- guess he didn't get the memo.

I was pretty sure today that I was having adverse effects from the spraying, so I called Kaiser and they wanted to see me immediately enough to somehow find an appointment within 45 minutes of my call.

As it turns out, it's an inner ear virus that is "common" (so why have I never heard of it?) amongst college students. It should run its course in about seven to fourteen days.

Other than feeling off balance, it's a relief to know that it's not something dreadful like a bad reaction to neurotoxins that have been liberally dumped on us for the past two days (still not stoked about that). Thus far no extra appendages have surfaced, and my fingers seem to be the same color and size as before the spraying... though I'm not sure about that extra eye on my forehead, I don't remember it being there before, but perhaps I just didn't notice it.

The eerie twilight of another late summer evening fills the room as Fuego and I listen intently for the sound of airplanes overhead. The pale light filling our little shelter makes the scene resemble something out of a WWII movie -- we watch out the windows apprehensively, knowing it's only a matter of time before they come. Are we refugees in some kind of war? Nope, but we are refugees from the mosquito spraying taking place tonight from 8pm to 12am in D-town.

We were all told to stay inside during the spraying since it's 6% poison, 60% carcinogen, and 34% other stuff that's apparently too terrible to mention. Now... the poison is supposed to break down in sunlight -- okay for that 6% (which apparently makes it so the larval mosquitoes all die and the adults can no longer procreate), but what about that other 94% -- the majority of which is a carcinogen that is designed to block the mosquitoes natural ability to break down the biological poison (and about which they make no claim as to it's lasting effects on pets, human population, ground water, crops, etc.).

You might wonder why the citizens are allowing such an a dangerous coup to take place in our midst -- actually Fuego and I both signed a petition just last week, but it seems that most of the population doesn't care what it breathes any more than they care what they eat.

Perhaps the worst part is that it was supposed to take place while Fuego and I were both out of town, but they postponed it for wind -- pretty much just to make sure that Fuego and I wouldn't be able to get ice cream tonight (bastards).

So here we sit, no ice cream, no safe air to breathe... oh... and there they are -- YAY POISON!!

I'll write more later if I haven't mutated too much to be able to type.

Today's Sermon!!

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Readings: Romans 10:13-17, Psalm 96: 1-7, John 7:16-18

Today in Lesser Feasts and Fasts we remember Saint Dominic, a man called by God to preach the truth. Dominic founded the monastic order of Dominicans in 1217 – a group focused on educated preaching. Dominic was ordained and began preaching in 1196, having sold all of his possessions five years earlier to help the poor during a famine. His major concern was the ill informed message being preached by a group that was later condemned for preaching heresy. However, he refused to involve himself in their persecution, but rather sought to convert them through preaching sound and educated doctrine. Having founded the order of Dominicans, he spent the rest of his life traveling and preaching, establishing friaries, and organizing the new order, which continues to this day as a group that values intellectual work and highly informed preaching.

While most of us are not planning to rush out and become Dominican monks, there is still a great deal to be learned from Saint Dominic.

The readings for today were chosen for Dominic's day, at least in part, because they stress the importance of spreading the Good News of Christ, the amazing joy found through seeking out a relationship with God, and the moral imperative to spread God's Good News for the glory of God alone – which as John stresses, is the only way to ensure we are being true to the Gospel of Christ and not just deceiving ourselves and others around us.

We see, in Dominic, the profound desire to serve God through devoting his life to the sole task of studying scripture, its various interpretations over the centuries, and doing his human best to relate it to those around him as accurately as he could. We see the reflections of Dominic in the modern day Anglican Church, which also highly values educated clergy – with the hope of providing sound preaching for its congregations around the world. But it isn't only clergy and the wider Church of Christ that stand to learn something from Dominic.

We celebrate the saints in the Episcopal church not as a group who has a special claim on God's attention, but as individuals who led exceptional lives, and to whom we can look for examples of how we can model our own lives – even if to a lesser extent. Dominic teaches us the importance of knowing our God as intimately as possible. He teaches us to question, to explore, to learn about God and be in conversation with God every day in order to further our understanding of God and deepen our relationship with God.

Paul speaks to us today, in his letter to the Romans, about the importance of sharing the Good News of Christ. "Faith comes," he says, "from what is heard, and what is heard comes through the word of Christ." Now I don't want to scare anyone, but I have to use a word that may make many of us as Episcopalians cringe – Evangelism. Evangelism has gotten a lot of bad press over years, primarily because so many people, who actively seek to evangelize, believe that they hold the only knowledge that can possibly lead to salvation. They seek to convert, rather than simply planting seeds and letting God do the converting.

I have never actively sought someone out in order to "save" them – in fact, I find it really creepy and offensive when people assume that they have the capacity to "save" others. I have, however, found myself in many unexpected situations over the years in which I have had the opportunity to share my faith with others. One day on my train commute to Intel, I was sitting across from a man who turned out to be visiting the US from China. He saw my cross and asked me if I would be willing to tell him what Christians believe. About six months later, a friend of mine at Intel, who was working there on a visa from India, asked me what made me so different from other people who worked there, and wondered if it have anything to do with my necklace (that same cross). Just recently I started posting sermons online, asking if it was something that people would like for me to continue doing, and I received an email from a long time friend of mine, who I didn't even know read my online journal, saying, "yes, please keep posting them."

Evangelism is not about going door to door seeking to win souls for Christ through badgering people into thinking the exact same way you think. Rather it is a way of living our lives in the world as an example to others, and not being afraid to reach out to those who want to know why we are who we are. It can be something as simple as wearing a cross outside your shirt, or as involved as volunteering to preach once in a while or starting an online journal to post your own spiritual struggles and triumphs on the internet.

Dominic teaches us, as do Paul and John in today's readings, the importance of reaching out to others with the Good News of God's amazing grace, and love. The good news for us today is that we don't have to sell everything we have and devote our lives solely to preaching in order to put Dominic's good example into practice in our daily lives. But neither should we leave his example here at St. ECWIW's when we go back out into the world today. Our willingness to treat others with love, compassion, and respect, to lend a helping or healing hand to those who are down, or even just to sit and talk with those who need a friend is our willingness to bring Christ to others. And our willingness to be open about our faith when the opportunity presents itself is our willingness to let Christ work through us.

Dominic gives us an amazing example of a life lived for God. May we each find at least some small way of bringing God with us into every aspect of our own lives. Amen.

Home again home again, jiggity jog.

Well, Grandpa's funeral was successful -- not sure what that means exactly other than that Grandpa obliged us by staying dead. I got a lot of positive feedback from the service and my sermon -- which I only had about two hours to write when my dad and uncle decided that they couldn't possibly handle getting up to say anything (of course I understood completely).

I got to visit with a long lost cousin who I hope will be coming to visit us sometime in the near future, what a great guy! He's another hippie, long white hair and a beard -- he's the only person in my family over six feet tall (he's closer to seven feet really... wow). I didn't recognize him at first, it had been so long since I'd seen him (since I was about ten or twelve). At the time he was head veterinarian for the Calgary Zoo in Canada. He still lives in Calgary, but now he's a luthier -- he makes guitars and mandolins. I should note that he doesn't just make guitars and mandolins, but rather that he makes some of the best guitars and mandolins in the world today -- they sell for about $40,000.00 each to people like Jann Arden ("Insensitive"). He said when I come up to visit I should bring my Gibson and we'd upgrade it (stoked... worth the trip just for that alone!!).

When I got back, I drove from SFO (after finding a woman's bag by the bus stop and waiting for an hour for her to come and get it after she called her cell phone which I answered after she tried about four different times -- she was happy and gave me $10 =o) to New Hogan Lake near Lodi, where Fuego was camping with Some-of-the-time-girlfriend and his family. I managed to have a weekend in a matter of about four hours... it was awesome! I got to meet some of Some-of-the-time-girlfriend's family, got to go tubing behind a jet-boat (it had a 455 cubic inch V8 in it... that's more engine than a Corvette for a boat that probably weighs less than 400 lbs!), got to go water skiing, got to go cliff diving (more cliff jumping really... I couldn't bring myself to dive), got to drink beer while riding in the jet-boat watching other people ski, got to play with Ginger in the lake (she's quite the swimmer when she gets past the boxer instinct to stay away from the water... poor thing, thankfully the lab side wins out once she's actually in the water -- so confusing for her ;o), then got to sit in the shade on Fuego's lap and drink more beer until it was time for dinner. All told I was up from 4am until 12am by the time we got home and unpacked and settled down enough to fall asleep. Needless to say, I fell asleep pretty early the following evening.

On to the next adventure!! (Planning the mayhem that is the "Disneyland Run" -- more on that later.)

Sorry for the wait... here's the sermon from Tuesday the 18th.

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Readings: Isaiah 26:7-9, 12, 16-19, Psalm 102:12-22, Mat 11:28-30

Today's gospel reading is one of my favorite scriptural examples of Christ the healer. This short passage has led to volumes of writing, lifetimes of study and work, countless artistic interpretations, and has inspired millions of Christians over the centuries.

The message is so simply put, so concise, yet has countless applications throughout our lives and ministry in the world.

Looking today at Christ's words in terms of their healing context, we are reminded of Christ's healing touch, his gentleness, his compassion, and his loving, humble heart.

In Christ the healer we see the Messiah – the king of heaven and earth – instead of claiming earthly sovereign power like every other king on earth, taking on our yoke of sin and suffering in order to offer us wholeness and healing.

The Jewish Law – set down in the 10 commandments and much of the Torah – was the primary yoke set upon the Israelites. In addition, the Jews of Jesus time already had centuries of teaching on the law, with the Pharisees working hard to keep the law applicable to contemporary life of that time. As you might have surmised from Jesus' encounters with the Pharisees of his time, the "Law" had become downright oppressive.

There were laws of purity, laws against doing anything considered work on the Sabbath, laws defining the hierarchy of family and society, laws defining the structures of power, laws defining how one could talk to God and seek forgiveness, laws defining how much one would have to pay in livestock and burnt offerings in order to receive that forgiveness, laws defining what one could wear, to whom one could speak, what one could eat, what one could touch and still remain "clean," the list goes on and on. But to be considered amongst God's chosen people, it was worth it to play it safe. God was a jealous God and while his yoke was heavy, the resulting protections and promises were worth it!

Jesus repeatedly showed through his words and actions his disregard for many of what the Pharisees considered "Laws." He healed on the Sabbath, he and his disciples ate without washing their hands, he associated with outcasts and sinners, and even Samaritan women of ill repute! He undermined the traditional hierarchies by teaching and befriending women, slaves, and children. He redefined family through spiritual criteria rather than biological. He encouraged his followers to personally pray to God and to seek forgiveness even without burnt offerings. And he demonstrated his phenomenal power through humble service to the lowly, the sick, and the oppressed. What kind of messiah was this? No kind at all if you asked the scriptural interpreters of his time. Christ's teachings and actions were radical enough to be considered blasphemous to the religious leaders of ancient Israel. The messiah was supposed to be a great king – to restore the throne of David, a great and mighty leader whose yoke, though as heavy as the Law itself had become, would yet be worth it for the freedom of Israel from the tyranny of Rome. Under his authority, God's laws handed down through Moses would be enforced and thus fulfilled.

Instead, Christ the healer teaches us a new commandment – to love. Through practicing God's love in our lives, all the other laws would come naturally. Christ had no intention of doing away with the law – but rather fulfilling it through teaching us this amazing love.

Christ the healer comes to us today with the offer of a new understanding of God's creation. Throwing off the yoke of oppression, the yoke of what was then the traditional Jewish hierarchy, the weighty yoke of centuries of interpretation of the Law, our gentle, humble messiah offers us an amazing alternative…

If we are to learn from this humble and gentle heart, we too will find not only rest and healing of our physical weariness, but more importantly, we will find spiritual rest – as Christ says, rest for our souls.

In turning his contemporary systems of oppression on their heads, Christ relocates those at the bottom of the heap, carrying the heaviest burdens in society and the world, to the top. As followers of Christ, we are invited to join in on this amazing experience of spiritual healing. All we have to do is take a close look at how Christ teaches us to live – finding our motivations in love, compassion, mercy, and grace, rather than in the materialism, fear, and greed of our own contemporary society, and stepping out in the courage of the Holy Spirit to serve those around us rather than seeking to be served – this is Christ's yoke. It is a yoke of radical freedom through practicing unconditional love. It is not an easy yoke to take on, but once it is accepted, it is not only light to carry, but is indeed also light in that same sense that Christ is the light of the world!

May we seek always to learn from the gentle, humble, heart of our healing messiah- Christ, and through his teachings find ourselves living out God's love in the world.

Amen.

I met a fantastic group of kids today!!

They're staying at St. ECWIW's tonight on their way from Providence Rhode Island to San Francisco. Along the way they've stopped in about ten different towns to help build low income housing. They've also raised over $400,000.00 in the past three years, with this particular group having raised over $120,000.00 just for this trip. The money is used to fund low income housing projects as well as to help raise awareness of the need for such programs.

The group is called Bike and Build -- you can check them out at http://www.bikeandbuild.org

Thirty of them are on the trip and they're really amazing people.

Fuego and I got to spend some time with them at a St. ECWIW family's house tonight for a pool party and BBQ, so we got to chat with them about their experience (very cool!).

Doubtless this will show up in a sermon in the near future.

In other news, Teo and Fred have decided that the unused top edges of our pillows are their personal parade route on their way to the bedroom window at 5:23am when the birds start chirping. I would have thought that it would have been a very grumpy way to wake up, but sadly it was just too cute to be grumpy about ;o)

They're having the best time ever at their extended kitty sleep-over!

I meant to post my sermon from the 18th today from work, but was swamped... so my senior sermon from CDSP is posted below instead!

Sermon Archive #1: Senior Sermon

Readings: Zechariah 8:20-23, Psalm 87 Luke 9:51-56

What is it about Jesus' disciples that they always seem to either miss the point or know just the wrong thing to say?

In the preceding text of Luke, Jesus is transfigured before Peter, James, and John. Peter wants to stay on the mountaintop and build dwelling places for Jesus, Moses, and Elijah. They come down from the mountain to find that some of the other disciples have been unable to cast out a demon after Jesus gave them authority to do so. A few days later the disciples are fighting amongst themselves about which of them is the greatest… and now we have James and John – perhaps trying to show themselves to be the greatest, perhaps still thinking back to the mountain top and thinking about Elijah…

"Lord, do you want us to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them?"

Gosh you two know me well… NO!

How often do we get it wrong? How often do we think we've got this whole thing down only to find that we've entirely missed the point?

Our reading from Zechariah today says that "Peoples shall yet come, the inhabitants of many cities; the inhabitants of one city shall go to another," and I'm struck by the images in the news last week of freeways out of Huston – both directions being used for North bound traffic as three-million people sped at 1 mph from the path of Hurricane Rita – what they thought was to be the next hurricane Katrina. The Federal Government worked mightily with state governments to provide and ready 32,000 national guard personnel with another 25,000 troops ready to come in if needed from the military. There were fifteen helicopters flying grid patters perfected in military strikes in Afghanistan to find stranded survivors. There were three amphibious ships bringing eighty doctors and nurses, supplies, and salvage and rescue equipment. There are seven to eight Navy mine countermeasure ships which by today have already arrived to assess damages to the oil rigs… Katrina by comparison had only 5,000 national guard troops and it took FEMA three days just to get another 7,000 military troops into the area with disorganized helicopter support.

Rita wasn't another Katrina. Yet what might have happened if it was? Reports from residents tell us that the evacuation left them stranded on jammed highways with empty gas tanks, left them stranded in Jasper – a town not flagged as an evacuation site because of it's history of being hit hard by hurricanes, and leave them frustrated and unsure now of how they will get back home again with supplies of gas depleted and roads blocked by debris. Those who ended up in Jasper remain in the dark where power won't likely be restored for two weeks, crowed into schools where the plumbing has failed and hot meals are nonexistent.

With all the efforts set in motion to clean up after the catastrophe, with all the personnel readied to help salvage the survivors after the death toll, it seems that at least some efforts might have been spared to help with the evacuation in the first place… If Rita had been another Katrina, the clean up crews would have made no more difference to those who didn't make it than the underwhelming response to Katrina had made.

Lord, do you want us to stand by and wait until the waters of the firmament drown them?

There are two people who I've spoken to recently about these tragedies who have had very different responses. One was a charismatic Christian, the other was a professed pagan.

The Christian was bitter about the whole thing, voicing general outrage that so much is being done for the people in New Orleans while so little is done on a daily basis for those in his home state who suffer from similar tragedies on a smaller scale. From his perspective, those who lose everything in a tornado have just as much right to help as any of the people in New Orleans. I listened patiently as he decried the fate of the poor who are being given checks for two thousand dollars each when as he put it "they probably haven't had that much money at one time in their whole lives." He refuses to contribute to the relief efforts… yet (as I plan to point out when he's feeling less belligerent) I don't see him rushing out to help the tornado victims. I don't see him raising public awareness and taking up contributions for those victims any more than he's helping those in New Orleans.

Given the same dilemma, my pagan friend signed up with Red Cross and will likely fly out to Louisiana sometime in the next few weeks.

Lord, do you want us to withhold our healing touch from the suffering until they perish?

I'm grateful for the disciples mistakes. We all make them.

Just two days ago I had an experience myself in which I missed the point. There was a man who was tired and begging for help after being lost in the Berkeley hills all night after the Jerry Garcia tribute on Saturday night. I had guests over the weekend and one went out on the porch to see what the weather was like when the man, sitting on a chair in the middle of the intersection at Virginia and Le Roy, accosted her for help. She closed the door, frightened, and we could hear the man yelling to no one in particular that he was not invisible, that he needed help and that he was upset. I called and asked the Berkeley police to send a car to drive past the neighborhood.

Given the same dilemma, a friend of mine went out into the street to talk to the man, offered him a ride to BART, and helped him carry his belongings to the sidewalk.

Lord, do you want us to call the police on those in need and have them removed from our conscience?

Jesus' response to James and John – and to the other disciples at the many moments in which they miss the point and get it wrong – is simply to rebuke them.

No James, no John, in fact, I don't want you to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them. Thanks for asking, but that's really not what we're about here. Now, shall we keep walking – maybe we can stay in the next village.

Christ models for us limitless compassion. He sees us in our human condition, fraught with good intentions combined with misdirection and bad decisions, and rather than convict us of our limitless ability to mess things up, he just simply forgives us and continues to love us.

I struggled for many days to find a message in today's gospel – something profound that might sound really cool… but perhaps the simple fact that we can continue to find forgiveness for screwing up and getting things wrong while trying to serve our best intentions, is a really good place to start. It teaches us to look at the world from a place of compassion rather than conviction. It teaches us that no matter who we are – students, clergy, teachers, disciples of Christ – we all get it wrong sometimes, but its never too late to change direction and get it right.

Lord, make us instruments of your peace. Where there is hatred, let us sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy. Grant that we may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.